Dating in Philly? What Exes Should You Disclose to Your New Partner?

By Philadelphia Singles Dating Service
Home / Dating Advice / Dating in Philly? What Exes Should You Disclose to Your New Partner?

Dating in Philly isn’t easy. But when you finally meet a fabulous man or woman, you don’t want to let them get away, so it’s important you do everything you can to help the relationship start off on the right foot.

And now comes the tricky part. Who did you date in the past? How many exes have you had? Is it important to disclose this information with your partner? Of course it is, but should you disclose everything?

It depends on how connected you and your new partner are with each other. Some people must know everything about their partner’s dating history, while others are content having a brief rundown.

When you enter a new relationship, you’re expected to disclose certain things about your past. And there is bound to come a point when your partner asks you how many people you dated in the past. If your partner were to ask you to write down all your exes, would you write that list or not?

If, however, they don’t care how many people you’ve been with, is it still a necessity to tell them everything about your dating history?

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Why You Need to Discuss Your Exes

In order to have a successful relationship with your partner, you must be honest with each other. But does that mean you need to get into detail about your dating history? For you to fully understand who your partner is, you need to understand all the relationships they’ve had and vice versa.

You will have to discuss each other’s families, where you grew up, what you do for a living, and everything in between, which includes the, sometimes not so nice, topic of exes. But why is it so important you discuss your dating history with the new person in your life? Let our Philadelphia matchmakers show you why it’s important to discuss your past relationships with your new partner.

1. You can learn from past mistakes.

What went wrong in the relationship? Who broke it off? Who caused the breakup? The answer to these questions will go a long way in helping your partner understand you better.

2. You can prevent embarrassing scenarios with your ex.

We all know how embarrassing it can be when a close friends starts talking about an ex in front of your new partner. And it’s even worse if your new partner has no clue who that person is or that they even existed.

3. You can warn your partner about your ex being present in your life.

Some exes will always stay around, especially if they live close to you or are in the same circle of friends. And what if your ex goes to the same gym as you? What if they frequent the same places you and your new partner go? You’re definitely facing the risk of running into them with your new partner. Can you say awkward? Be upfront and let them know so you can avoid any misunderstanding and embarrassment later.

4. Your partner will feel more secure with you.

It is a given that disclosing your dating history will make your partner feel more secure about your relationship together. It shows you’re honest and not trying to hide anything from them.

5. Your partner will sympathize with certain issues you both had in the past.

There is no denying that some relationships from the past are very traumatic. If you share something about a past relationship and your partner can relate, it will help them sympathize with you.

Which Exes You Need to Disclose with Your Partner

Many mature daters in Philly have been around for a long time, and it’s a given that they’ve accumulated a lot of exes in their dating history. So do you have to share every relationship? If not, which exes should you disclose?

Not all exes need to be disclosed. We are talking about the ex who was only around for a few days or the one you never developed loving feelings for. It is up to you to decide what you want to share with your partner. With that being said, there are some exes you must disclose, and today, our Philadelphia matchmakers will show you which ones we’re talking about.

1. Your first ex.

Whether it was your first ex in high school or college, your new partner deserves to know who your first partner was and how serious things were.

2. The first ex you were intimate with.

Your partner needs to know who you lost your virginity to, when it happened, how it happened, and how it made you the person you are today.

3. The ex you were in the most serious relationship with.

This will be the person your new partner sees as their biggest competition. It’s not because your partner thinks you’re going to leave them for your ex, but they want to know how they landed such a great person like you and kept you for so long.

4. Other serious relationships you’ve had.

The only reason you should disclose other serious relationships is because they could come up in future conversation, especially if they still live in the same town as you.

5. The ex your parents disliked the most.

Your new partner can learn a lot about the ex your parents disliked the most. They can learn what type of people your parents are, what topics to avoid when in their presence, and all the things to avoid doing while in a relationship with you.

6. The ex who is still hung up on you.

Your new partner definitely wants to hear about this ex. Your partner needs to know just in case something were to happen or if they reached out to you again.

7. The ex who is still a part of your life.

This is the ex you still have on your social media, the one you see at the gym every day, the one your mom and dad still run into at the grocery store. Yep, everyone has an ex that is still somehow a part of their life, and your partner deserves to know who this person in, just in case they run into each other at some point.

8. The ex you regret the most.

There is no denying that some relationships from the past leave us scarred. Your partner deserves to know who the partner who left you with the most painful memories is and what they did to hurt you.

How to Discuss This Touchy Subject

Now that you know which exes you need to discuss with your partner, the next question is when to bring it up.

If they don’t want to know who your exes are, then leave it at that. But if they want to talk about it, then go ahead and disclose what you feel comfortable discussing with them.

You can safely discuss your exes when you are in a serious relationship; however, discussing previous relationships can be painful for some people or bring back memories. At the same time, problems could arise later if you keep it hidden from your partner. You could receive a call from your ex or get a message from them on Facebook, causing your new partner to think you’re up to something. This is why we advise you to be transparent about your past and share things you wish your partner would also share with you.

No luck dating in Philly? Want to meet relationship-minded singles? Contact our Philadelphia matchmakers today and let us help you meet quality singles locally.

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